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After be cheated - What do you want to do?

Updated: May 26, 2020

Woman punching a fist towards the photographer, in black and white

What do you want to do right now?

Before to take a decision, at first your reactions can create a false perception of the situation, so be careful not to take any measures too quickly: maybe, your partner still loves you and wants to fix his or her fail. In many cases, people want just to leave their relationship, but maybe, you want to stay in. So, what can you do? Feeling cheated is very disruptive but if your partner has just made this and only this kind of mistake, maybe you could give the opportunity to repair your relationship, and set up conditions that if broken can definitely stop your ‘love story’.

In this case, it is much better to be calm, patient and to resist finding revenge…instead, it will be useful to give yourself the opportunity to think about what you need or want and to make a decision, and trying to see how it could work in your relationship and if it is suitable for your set of personal values and desires.

Others can decide to take a break, just a temporary pause, where to take more time to understand what it is happening, to evaluate with calm feelings and to see our emotions from different points of view.

Take your time and allow yourself to have a rest for at least a couple of weeks, and if you can stay off from work for a certain period of time. A good idea is to talk to people who you trust or to a professional person who can help you with relationship coaching or counseling.

During your pause from the World, I suggest you consider other questions to help you to make a decision about your relationship and evaluate if you want to leave or stay in.

Evaluate if your partner has betrayed you just one time or several times and if in the past has betrayed others.

Be realistic and try to understand the motivation behind her or his behavior: maybe, you are still in a love that is just started or you can evaluate if it is the case to leave at anyway; but think if you will regret it one day in the future. While, if your story is longer, you could ask your partner the reasons behind her or his ‘decision’ to betray you; it could be just a casual fact that is originated by a boring, bothered and long love story…

Try to understand, if you got engaged or married too early with your partner, without to know each other too much. ( I wish to suggest you read a lovely book, based on a real story: Out of The Shadows, written by Kim Wymer, through her book you can see yourself and how an early relationship can cause problems to both of the partners).

Is your partner worried to lose you, and she or he loves you? Give a chance, because your partner could work to repair is a mistake.

(Pic by Timothy Eberly,

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