Updated: May 27
Now, you have clear in mind what you want to do, and you have done your best to preserve your relationship, so which is the next step? Staying or Leaving?
At this point in your life, you can make a decision, or you can allow destiny to decide for you and continuing to live your relationship.
In case your partner didn’t take responsibility to repair your relationship or doesn’t want to stay with you anymore, in any case, you have to decide what to do.
Maybe, you have just decided on your future and you want to restart a new life, without your partner. But is it just about this?
In starting a new version of yourself, you have to protect yourself from revenge or staying in contact with your partner; you have to preserve yourself to prolong your sufferance and avoid those situations where you could relive those moments together: for instance, going in the same places or meet the same people who both of you know; at least, in the beginning, then when you feel comfortable and you manage better your emotions you can go in the same places where your partner usually goes.
The best way is to take a break and be focused to rebuild your life without your partner, and this will take time because is a process that doesn’t depend just on your efforts.
During your break, you have the opportunity to think about yourself and learn some life lessons, that you can use in the future.
Does your partner has cheated you just on one occasion or this is a sign of a deep crisis?
Are you able to evaluate in a clear way what is happened? Or are you thinking that is your fault, and you are blaming yourself? Again, be cheated is a pretext to behave like a teenager and hurt your partner?
These and other questions are helpful to help you to reflect on your past, your present and your future.
The most important thing is to move from your crisis into a new stage of your life step by step, and discovering what you really wanted for yourself during your relationship and yourself as an individual, and to understand what was going on your relationship through a conversation with a competent relationship counselor or therapist. This option can be painful for you because you could discover what was happened in your relationship but at the same time, it can reveal more about you.
Of course, it all depends on your idea about how a relationship has to be, about your expectations, your needs and desires; and these things depend on many factors like your values, the culture where you are immerse, your religion, your education, your past experience, etc…
Thinking about your idea of the relationship you want is a way to see deeply yourself and restart to live the life you deserve.
Pics: in order, Wix.com and Unsplah/Diana Simunbande