Is there a difference between falling in love and love?
We often confuse the two terms unconsciously, and after all, falling in love is the crucial phase where two people live their emotions and feelings with more intensity; and it is easy to mistake the two terms even in common language, but they have a big difference.
I decided to clarify these two terms with you, helping you understand what could happen when you are in love, and when it is love.
Here are some of the situations that could happen, don't worry they are situations that we all experience at least once in our life, and they are completely normal, albeit in their overwhelming intensity.
You see the person you like, and maybe suddenly something clicks in you: she or he is no longer the friend you know from school, the colleague you meet in the canteen or the stranger you secretly see ... she or he makes you completely lose your mind!
You feel lost, but at the same time, that inexplicable attraction gives you the strength to do unthinkable things or makes you feel awkward and awkward when you want to be brilliant.
After the first moments of uncertainty, you take courage: give a date to your potential soulmate; after a couple of months .. here, you are engaged!
But what happens now? Confusion and fear control you.
You do not feel in control of yourself, you no longer have your balance and above all, you do not lead your life in an autonomous and healthy way; and whoever is close to you sees that you are changing ... for the worse.
Even you yourself don't know who you are or you don't know what's going on:
after the initial euphoria, here you start to be dependent on the relationship that is starting, without being able to distinguish if you are dependent on the situation or on the person you fell in love with.
The danger is that only you, or both of you, could create a strong and desperate addiction in a relationship based on simply being in love with each other, without having the pillars or foundations to help you move beyond falling in love itself, which becomes a real drug.
It may happen that you do not know why you feel not only attracted but strongly dependent on the person you fell in love with.
It becomes a serious problem when one or both partners simply cannot think of anything but their partner; thus creating, little by little, a real obsession or morbid fixation!
And when there are these thwarted emotions, here you get jealous!
You fear that the person you care about will no longer give you her attention.
But this thought is not healthy ... and genuine.
Your addiction doesn't make you live your relationship for what it should be or how it could be.
So how can you manage these negative aspects that are not healthy and that do not allow you to live a true and peaceful loving relationship?
Well, the good news is that all these aspects just seen, even in their negative essence, are part of the love experience.
Speaking of true love, you should develop the ability to go through that kind of experience, even negative but from which you learn to manage, to transform it into something else little by little; getting to overcome all the negative and conflicting emotions to arrive at a healthy relationship that can last longer; with benefits also in your life in general.
At this point how do you know when it is true love, and how do you achieve that awareness?
True love is when both people love each other as individuals and respect each other as individuals who live their life as a couple in a healthy way.
Understanding that the other person is not there to meet your needs or becoming a scapegoat for your personal frustrations.
Frustrations that also arise from a real and personal distrust in oneself, above all.
An ambiguous situation, which will make you see your loved one as imperfect and full of defects because it no longer gives you the attention you imagined at the beginning.
You must understand, that once the phase of falling in love has passed, you have a real person in front of you, with her problems or limitations and who will not always be able to satisfy your desires or needs.
Understanding that no one is perfect or infallible is a decisive step.
In fact, you will have to understand that there is no perfect partner, and neither will you.
You have to have an alternative experience:
understand that both of you are imperfect people with a life of their own. Learn to be alone, even without her presence, and try not to think too much during the days.
Indeed, to have a full and balanced love life you will need to focus on yourself, finding the balance between your personal life and the life within your couple.
Trying to have a more balanced experience.
Your partner will need to be aware that you both need to encourage each other to grow as individuals and as a couple, without living a relationship based on need and lack of affection or attention.
By gradually creating a genuine life together, without an ambiguous attachment.
Going to connect with each other, living your life as a couple in a unique way, with the awareness of the here and now.
By becoming free from attachment, it will allow you to live life itself serenely, learning to grow together, in the clarity that nothing is destined to last forever!